Friday, December 5, 2008


‘Tis the Christmas season and with Christmas comes the lovely shade of green. Divine green trees, wreaths, garlands, and beautifully decorated green packages under the Christmas tree. But even during this magical season, green can be astonishingly unnerving.

The next time you’re out on the road, and you’re beginning to get a little frustrated with the jackass that’s “driving” the car in front of you… Take a moment to note the color of the vehicle. Chances are the car will be green. For some strange incomprehensible reason once you get behind the wheel of a green car, truck, van, SUV, whatever… you become an asshole. I will absolutely make no apologies for this statement! This is me calling you out! If you use a green vehicle to get you from point ‘A’ to point ‘B’ YOU, my friend, are an asshole. I thought, (once upon a time,) that white may be the new green… but it turned out to be a few isolated cases… and green is holding true and strong as THEE worst color car to get stuck behind. The police and highway patrol typically look for red, white, or black vehicles… but it is the unassuming green that they should be watching for... As should you! And don’t think that you can get out of it by claiming your car is olive, asparagus, jade, emerald, pear, pine, myrtle, or chartreuse! Green is green… and you’re an asshole. This is my declaration and it is not a random claim. I have put miles of research into what can only be described as a phenomenon!

So be on the lookout!


Laurie said...

Thank god I've never owned a green car. I did know someone though that owned a purple car! :)

Travis said...

Amen sister... preach it!!

I swear if I ever decide I want to buy a green car, no matter how bad ass or fast or big it is................KICK ME!!

Brianna said...

Guess I better take back my new green mini van I just bought.